Spornosexual Reproduction

Going forth & multiplying your gainz

A new gym is always exciting. But the brand new one I joined recently is positively indecent. It's probably the best I've used. I’m slighly baffled that it opened in the small provincial town where I now live.

Large and well-equipped, in a former town centre retail store, this is not just a gym, this is an M&S gym - it has everything a hardcore muscle worshipper could desire, including a 'posing room'. It's the only part that is properly lit - the rest of it is sex-club dark. Sadly, without the actual sex - though it is so gloomy that I just might not have noticed it. Or been invited.

I suppose part of the idea of a dedicated posing room is that it frees up space in the locker room - especially in front of the mirror which otherwise would be impossible to use, being mobbed these days by Insta selfie-takers, as it was at my previous gym.

I thought that gym was dimly lit, but it seems I had no idea what dimly lit really meant. At this one you have to use the torch on your phone to read the instructions on the seriously sexy (and new to me) Panatta plate machines.

I would also like to use my phone torch to check out the talent, but that might be seen as a bit too obvious. Even for me.

So, the posing room is the only part of the gym where you can see properly - and you can only see yourself. Or yourselves. It kindly clones and multiplies you and your gainz.

Gang-bang narcissism anyone?